Sunday, January 3, 2016

30 Days of Accepting (9)

Day 24: Meet with someone we love is kinda awesome moment and something that we always wait for, like I am still waiting you to be ready to meet me. I don't know why, it feels like you left me behind, just like it. Everything was just too kind to be blamed. Nothing can be blamed. You and your decision? That's your choice or yours and your family who asked you to. Me and my acceptance? That's my way to adapt in this kinda 'challenging' situation. It feels like I left behind here, but at the moment I want to move on, I just always remember you, will I hurt you by this? Or should I go so you can be relieved? I feel like stuck at the same place, since I believe there's something un-finished thing that better we finish it directly. I don't know what you feel there. At least, I just want this finish as soon as possible, so I can walk away far far far as I want and as I should be, so do you.

Day 25: Blood sisters with same background stories could help. A little. Cause we bumped into same love problem at the same time. A star, avolution, chips, chocolate might help, but not helping. I cried like kid last night. I listened to my cousin love story and about her ex who keep chasing her like crazy. I remember my self cry all night long and chat you only to ask you to stay then you say bye-bye like hell. I hate you so much last night. I just imagine how you feel when I did that to you as same as how my cousin feel and act right now. As I am, the one who sad, the one and only. I know, it might be different, I know you're sad, the saddest person maybe. The more I think, the more I realize, I can't and I won't give what you wish for. So, I stop crying. Because at the end, if you keep wishing it and letting me to think like this, then I am sure I will walk away, far far far away from you. Happy New Year, wish all the good things for you!

Day 26: I still spent my day with my cousins. What a very right distraction. I am looking for you on socmed, but still not much that I can find. I dare my self to change our picture on Line. Well, I know no one care anyway, maybe you too don't care. My cousin asked me, why I still use ring from you and teasing me "He won't use it lho, why you still use it!" I don't even know, what are you doing there and how can I know you still keep me in your mind. Maybe even no. I fight with mom last night. I miss you. I need someone to tell, but no one as like you.

Day 27: Last day of holiday. I will spend today by.......I don't know. I need tomorrow comes faster, so everything will be fine.

3 days more and I will be fine.

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